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Broken Social Scene
—Guilty Cubicles
Guilty Cubicles- Broken Social Scene
The feelings that hurt most, the emotions that sting most, are those that are absurd; the longing for impossible things, precisely because they are impossible; nostalgia for what never was; the desire for what could have been; regret over not being someone else; dissatisfaction with the world’s existence. All these half-tones of the soul’s consciousness create in us a painful landscape, an eternal sunset of what we are.
—Fernando Pessoa
At the moment, I feel like I’d rather be alone than have anything to do with anyone. Waste of my time and sanity.
Everything is such a mess. Is honesty really the best policy? Where has it gotten me the past couple weeks? It progressed a tension filled friendship to reach new levels.. but also pushed forth the idea.. that I’m nothing to someone. I’ve never felt like such a useless piece of someones life.
By being honest about that to a person that does care.. it just threw things out of control.
Things never seem to work out in my favor..
In the end we had the pieces of the puzzle, but no matter how we put them together, gaps remained, oddly shaped emptinesses mapped by what surrounded them, like countries we couldn’t name.
— Jeffrey Eugenides, The Virgin Suicides
So irritated. I don’t know why I’m so caught up on this situation. I don’t know whether it’s better to wait it out and see where things go.. or if I should not waste my time and be straight forward.
